This post contains affiliate links. Click here to view my full affiliate policy.
Know the Warning signs of an Abusive Relationship
Abuse in relationships often doesn’t happen all at once. It usually shows up in small ways first, before escalating.
However, the warning signs of an abusive relationship often show up right away.
Here are the early warning signs to look for if you are unsure if you or someone else is in an abusive relationship.
1) Having a short fuse
Abusive partners usually have very short fuses. They often get angry without notice or provocation. They perceive minor things as a slight to themselves and are perpetually upset about one thing or another.
2) Extreme mood swings
Abusive partners can be happy in one moment and fly off the handle in the next one. This often happens without warning. For example, they might snap in the middle of a normal conversation.
Be weary of anyone that is this unpredictable as it is a huge warning sign that the abuse will get worse.
4) Constantly Checking up on you
Calling or texting constantly when you are at work or out with friends is an indication of an abusive relationship.
Excessive jealousy and accusing someone of cheating are also warning signs of an abusive partner.
5) Telling you what Clothes to Wear
Insisting that you wear clothes that do not arouse the opposite sex is a sign of abuse.
Any dictation over personal style or preference, such as telling you how to wear your hair, what brands to buy, etc. is controlling behavior and a warning sign of abuse.
6) Accusing you of Lying or keeping Secrets
Accusing someone of lying or keeping secrets is an indication of mistrust. Most likely it will escalate into more extreme forms of abuse
7) Being aggressive during Sex to the point of Pain or Injury
If someone is rough to the point of causing physical pain during sex that person most likely enjoys hurting you.
This can be an early sign of physical abuse being expressed in other ways.
8) Constantly Blaming others for their Problems.
Blaming others, particularly one’s ex for all their problems is an indication of an abusive partner.
Most likely you will be the next person responsible for all their problems. Abusive partners do not take responsibility for their emotions.
Abusive partners will always find a way to blame someone else for their problems in life.
9) Invading Privacy
Checking someone’s phone and going through someone’s journal are examples of abusive behaviors. For one, this person is most likely hiding something themselves. Secondly, they have shown they do not trust you.
This most often leads to more abusive behavior down the road.
10) Constant criticism
Constant criticism is an early sign of abusive behavior. Abusers often point out their partners faults as a way of control. B
y making their partner wrong they are providing an excuse for their behavior.
11) Isolation
Isolating someone from friends or family is a sign of abusive behavior. An abuser often wants their partner to be isolated from friends and family because they see anyone else in their lives as a threat to them.
Friends and family will often try to convince someone to leave a relationship.
Isolating someone from friends and family also creates an illusion that someone cannot function without their abuser.
12) Making you do all the Work
Abusive people often expect their partners to do all the chores and errands. They sometimes expect their partners to make all the money.
Oftentimes, abusive partners are constantly asking for special treatment including massages, while not providing much of anything.
13) Not Listening
Abusive people tend not to listen to their partners. They often zone out when they are being talked to and forget details of stories told to them.
They usually interrupt when someone speaks in order to bring the conversation back to their own needs.
This is a sign that they don’t consider what their partner says as important.
14) Telling you your Problems are not Important
Abusive people constantly downplay their partners’ problems and tell them their feelings are not important.
This indicates that they do not see others’ feelings and problems as important. This will very likely result in more abusive behavior.
15) Insulting you
Abuse often starts with verbal insults. The subject of the insult doesn’t matter. Abusive people almost always shoot insults at their partner any chance they can get.
16) Any kind of Physical Abuse
Any kind of Physical violence is a sign of abuse, no matter how small.
Beginning stages of physical abuse often begin with physical assault that blur the lines such as firmly squeezing one’s face, holding someone down, throwing objects etc.
This almost always leads to more extreme forms of physical abuse later on.
Resources for people Struggling with Abusive Relationships
While leaving an abusive relationship is extrememly hard, there are resources available.
This hotline offers support for people in abusive relationships.
Therapy can be effective in working through underlying issues. Here is a list of licensed online therapists.
There are online courses for people who are trying to leave relationships (and people that have already left and are dealing with the emotional pain associated bing in an abusive relationship.
This course is designed for people trying to heal from narcisstic abuse
The Narcisstic Trauma Recovery Program Is designed to help victims work through the shame and low self worth that often comes as a result of being in abusive relationships.
Make sure you Keep Yourself safe If you Decide to leave…
If you decide to walk away from an abusive relationship, make sure you keep yourself safe.
If someone is violent, I highly recommend not telling them you you are planning onleaving.
Ask your friends and family for support, and make your safety a priority.
Too many people have lost their lives or become seriously injured by confronting their abusers.
If someone is normally angry, they will act out even more when they feel they are losing the person they are so used to controlling.
Feel free to email me at aglassofcheri@gmail.com with any questions.