What is Emotional Intelligence?
Merriam-Websters Dictionary Defines emotional intelligence as: the ability to recognize, understand, and deal skillfully with one’s own emotions and the emotions of others (as by regulating one’s emotions or by showing empathy and good judgment in social interactions)
Emotionally intelligent people are able to get along with anyone and generally live happier lives with less conflict.
Developing emotional intelligence improves all aspects of life. Having this skill strengthens both romantic relationships and friendships.
Fortunately, emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. No matter where you are, here are 5 practical ways that you can increase your own.
1) Practice Controlling your own Emotions
Being emotionally intelligent starts with controlling our own thoughts and feelings.
People who are highly emotionally intelligent have an ability to maintain an optimal state of mind in any situation.
They are not easily swayed by people’s “bad behavior.”
Ways to change your Emotional State:
Mindfulness is the practice of detaching yourself from the negative thoughts and feelings rather than responding to them.
Meditation is an excellent way to achieve mindfulness.
Meditation can help to maintain a positive state of mind. It also makes it easier to stay centered when dealing with difficult people.
Practice Moving up the Emotional Scale:
This is a tool developed by Abraham Hicks.
To use the emotional scale, identify how you are feeling and attempt to feel a little better.
Eventually you will be able to maintain a more optimal emotional baseline. The more you stay in higher vibrational state such as satisfaction, the harder it will be for others to pull you down.
Take care of Your body
It goes without saying that if you eat healthy food and include exercise in your diet, your body will feel better.
When your body feels better, you feel better.
It is very hard to maintain an optimal state if you are constantly hungover or your body is sluggish from too much processed foods.
Obviously, habits are hard to change overnight. I suggest that if you desire to make changes in your lifestyle to do it gradually, and be realistic about it.
Start by adding 20 minutes of exercise a week to your schedule. Replace a couple of meals with salads, and go from there.
Habits can take a long time to change, but it starts with an intention to simply take better care of your body.
2) Remain calm when Someone is upset or angry, even if it isn’t your Fault
Controlling your emotions on your own is one thing. The next step is to control them when around others…
Emotional intelligence is the ability to stay centered and in control of your emotion even when other people are not.
Here are some ways to do that:
1) Listen to what other’s are Saying
Emotionally intelligent people are able to listen to what people are actually trying to say.
Listening is not waiting for a turn to speak or trying to prove them wrong. Practice focusing on what people are saying without taking it personally.
2) Don’t take things Personally
It is easier to do this when you recognize that you are most likely not the real cause of someone’s suffering or complaints.
Projection is a real thing!
3) Develop Empathy
Empathy is a key component to emotional intelligence. It is an ability to connect to others emotionally.
Some Ways to Develop Empathy:
Mirroring:
Empathic people naturally emulate body language and can even take on some of their speech patterns.
This is taught in sales people like people they perceive as being similar to themselves and are therefore more likely to buy from them..
I don’t suggest actively trying to mirror people talking, but to be aware of your own body language. Does it match the person you are communicating with?
If your body is not remotely in sync with the person you are talking to, you are probably not relating to them at all.
Ask questions:
Developing a curiosity about people and asking questions. Empathetic people recognize they are sharing the planet with other equally valid human with valid life experiences.
People will respond better to you when they know you are out for only yourself.
Be a team player:
Empathetic people are more likely to help out in team situations.
They get excited when other people achieve success.
Practice Getting along with others:
Emotionally intelligent people are not constantly in competition with other people for resources or attention.
Set an intention to lift others around you up, and look for ways to help them out.
5) Learn to Communicate
Don’t invalidate other people’s feelings and thoughts
You might not feel the same way in their situation, but everyone responds differently to events in their lives.
Things that upset you might not bother someone in the least.
Don’t put people down
It goes without saying that no one likes being put down.
While using guilt and shame may get someone to behave the way you want short term, in the long run it will just breed resentment.
Emotionally intelligent people recognize others’ strengths and point it out to them.
Emotional intelligence is not an esoteric skill that some just possess and others don’t. It is something anyone can develop, and it is well worth the effort!
Need some Guidance in your journey….
I am a life coach specializing in happiness and life purpose.
Because I believe everyone needs and goals are different I offer as little or as many sessions as needed.
For a free 15 minute consultation e-mail me at aglassofcheri@gmail.com
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