10 Red Flags that shouldn’t be Ignored…
It is really easy to ignore red flags in relationships, especially in the beginning.
For as long as time people have been able to hide their true natures behind a facade of charm. Ted Bundy is not the only person with good looks and charm, who turned out not to be so nice.
All too often prince charming turns out to be a raging sociopath with deep seated mommy issues. Or snow white is hiding a crystal meth addiction.
You get the point…
Unfortunately, the longer red flags are ignored, the harder it is to leave relationships. So here are some of the most common red flags to look out for.
1) Put Downs
It is very easy to brush aside small put downs in the beginning of a relationship, but it is actually a serious red flag.
Put downs and criticism, no matter how subtle, are an indication that someone is seeking to feel better about themselves by deprecating other people.
Oftentimes the put downs start out small in the beginning of a relationship, such as pointing out an unmatching outfit or criticizing a hairstyle.
But they will inevitably become more frequent and more severe as the relationship progresses.
2) Being Pressured
If you are being pressured to do things that do not feel right in your gut, this is a red flag.
It is common to want to please your partner, but doing small things that you are not comfortable with will lead to larger demands.
Oftentimes people choose to do things they are not comfortable with because they think that it will appease their partner.
Actually, giving into pressure just tells that person that you are willing to do anything to please them. The demands will get bigger and more uncomfortable.
It is the same method that cult leaders use to get their subjects to do anything.
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3) Lying
Any lying, even “little white lies” are serious red flags in relationships.
It is easy to overlook lies, especially in the beginning of a relationship. But hiding things and making up stories is an indication of a much bigger problem.
People who lie are trying to hide something about themselves. It may be a personality trait or a behavior they are engaging in that they don’t want you to know about.
4) Controlling Behavior is a huge Red Flag in Relationship
- Insisting that you perform a sexual act
- Demanding that you behave in a certain way
- Telling you what to wear, how to style your hair, etc.
- Telling you who you can spend time with
If someone is controlling they are indicating that they do not want an equal relationship.
Besides telling you what to do, controlling people rarely listen or care what their partner is thinking or feeling.
Being around a controlling person is never pleasant for very long, because they will fly off the handle the instant their partner does something they don’t approve of.
5) Micromanaging
Micromanaging is a form of controlling behavior where someone is constantly correcting someone for seemingly minor things.
A micro-manager will tell you are not stirring the eggs or right, or your pants don’t quite match your gloves.
Being in a relationship with a micromanager is exhausting. If you choose to ignore this kind of behavior early on you will most likely be spending your time walking on eggshells.
6) Accusing you of Things
Accusing you of cheating or lying is a huge red flag. Constantly accusing you of smaller things like eating all snacks in the house, is also a red flag.
If someone is constantly looking for fault in other’s behavior, they will find it. If you find yourself constantly being accused of things by your partner, this is a huge red flag.
You can try your best to be perfect, but that will not keep the person from finding things to accuse you of.
7) Insisting you do all the Work
A healthy relationships is an equal partnership where both people are contributing.
That doesn’t mean that both people have to contribute the same amount of money, or do the same amount of chores. But overall, a relationship thrives when both people are putting in the same of effort.
If someone expects you do much more than they are doing, this is a huge red flag. It is indication that they are a “taker.” A taker is simply someone who always tries to get more than they are giving.
A person like this will literally suck you dry and complain that you are not giving more.
8) Blaming others, Especially their exes
If someone is constantly blaming other people for their problems, especially their ex, it is a sure bet that they will eventually blame you as well.
Someone who blames others for their problems does not want to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong.
Being in a relationship with someone who constantly blames others is never fun.
Know that if you choose to be with someone who blames others you are signing up to be a punching bag for them.
9) Trying to make you Jealous
If someone is constantly flirting with other people when you are in public, they are most likely trying to get a reaction from you.
If someone thrives on another’s person’s jealousy to make them feel secure, this will turn into a bigger problem later on.
People who are secure do not need their mates to feel jealous. If someone exhibits this behavior it is a serious red flag.
10) Addictions
Hard drugs and excessive alcohol are obvious red flags that people often ignore
Living with someone with a drug or alcohol addiction is a 24/7 job. Besides putting their lives at risk, people with addiction will often do anything to get their fix, including lying and stealing.
Oftentimes, people are able to hide negative aspects of their personalities early on in relationships, but fortunately, the red flags are always there early on.
Recognizing the red flags is the first step to getting stuck in bad relationships. The next step is choosing whether or not to ignore them.
Need some Guidance in your journey….
I am a life coach specializing in happiness and life purpose.
Because I believe everyone needs and goals are different I offer as little or as many sessions as needed.
For a free 15 minute consultation e-mail me at aglassofcheri@gmail.com
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