If you look closely it’s easy to recognize the signs of a fake friend. A real friend has your back and wants to lift you up. If you suspect that that is not the case then it important to recognize the red flags…
Signs of a fake friend
I have been burned so many times by friends who turned out to be frenemies, but in retrospect the signs were there from the very beginning. Here are 20 common red flags to look out for if you are unsure whether or not your friend is fake.
1) They never initiate Texts/Calls or making Plans
If you are always the one making plans or initiating texts or calls, this is a huge red flag that it is a one sided friendship. If someone genuinely likes being in your company they will make the time to text or call.
Of course, people have busy lives, but if someone never texts or call first, they are mostly likely not a real friend
2) They are constantly making excuses to not hang out
We all have busy lives, but If your friend is always coming up with reasons why they can’t hang out, or canceling plans at the last minute, they are most likely not a real friend.
3) It takes them Days to return Phone Calls
Does it take days or sometimes weeks to hear back from someone? This is an indication that a friendship is not worth pursuing. A real friendship is not one sided. If someone is not interested enough to reply back within a reasonable amount of time, then it is probably a good time to move on.
4) They put you down constantly
A real friend will want you to succeed and acknowledge your strengths. Life is too short to spend time with someone who is constantly putting you down and never seems to have anything good to say about you.
5) They are jealous of your accomplishments
When something good happens to you, does your “friend” find a way to downplay the situation? Do they seem jealous when you achieve something in your life? This is a huge red flag!
6) They always talk and rarely listen
A real friendship involves equal exchanges.
Do you find yourself constantly listening and trying to figure out someone’s problems while that person does seem interested in your life at all?
One sided conversations are a huge indication of a one sided friendship.
7) You are always Footing the Bill
Does your friend alway forget his/her wallet? Are you always coming up with cash and conveniently paying more of the bill? It is okay to be generous, but if someone is taking advantage of your generosity, they are most likely a fake friend
8) They are never willing to go very far to Spend Time with You
It might not seem like a big deal but if someone is always picking a place to meet up that is either at their house or extremely close, it is an indication that someone is not really willing to make an effort to spend time with you.
9) It takes them days to return phone calls
If someone takes days to return your phone calls it is usually an indication that your friendship is really not that important to them.
10) They are constantly pointing out your faults
There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but constantly pointing out your faults is not doing you any favors. Be weary of spending time with anyone who never has anything good to say about you.
11) They are Talking about you behind your Back
Is your friend constantly talking and complaining about you behind your back? This is a huge red flag when it comes to spotting a fake friend.
12) Your Friends and Family Warn you about them
If many people have expressed distrust in someone who pretends to be a friend there is most likely something to it. Sometimes it is easier for people that are not involved in the friendship to see red flags.
13) They are constantly asking you for favors
Is your friend conveniently needing you to help them out with something every time they see you? In fake friendships one person is often doing all the favors, while the other person is not available when help is needed.
14) You do things you don’t want to do when you’re with them
If you are constantly making compromises for someone else they are most likely a fake friend.
15) You feel Drained for no apparent Reason when you around them
Fake friendships are draining. Feeling a loss of energy after spending time with them is an indication that someone is not your real friend.
16) You are their back up plan
Have you noticed that your friend only seems to call you after other plans fall through? Being someone’s back up plan is not the same as having a friend.
17) They call when they know you are sleeping
A lack of respect for your schedule is an indication that someone is not really a friend. Calling for reasons other than emergencies when you have indicated you are not available is overstepping boundaries.
18) They Flirt with your Romantic Partner/s
Flirting with your romantic partner is a huge indication that someone should not be considered a real friend.
19) They treat other people badly
Is your friend rude to waiters/waitresses/clerks, etc. Are they constantly having disputes with other people? If someone does not have respect for other people, they most likely will not have any respect for you at some point down the road.
20) They are physically Abusive
If your someone is physically abusive for any reason they are not a real friend. No disagreement warrants physical abuse.
Whether or not you decide to stay in a friendship, it is important to know the tell tale signs of a fake friend. Finding real friends does not always happen all at once. It sometimes a process that involves recognizing the signs of fake friend. Over the years I’ve had to let go of many friendship to finds the ones that I have now. Know that you deserve good friends who have your back and trust that they will come.