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How to be Satisfied in Life…
Learning how to be satisfied in life doesn’t always come naturally.
I have always wanted to live a happy and satisfying life doing the things I wanted to do, but for a long time I could not figure out how to achieve that.
Afterall, it is unrealistic to just snap your fingers and wake up in a satisfying life. If it was, everyone would be doing it.
We all have our unique set of disadvantages and advantages in life, and there is no getting around it.
Some people are born into an abundance of health and money, but even that does not insure a satisfying life.
Satisfication is a State of Mind…
I worked very hard to find satisfaction in less than ideal circumstances, and it is still part of my daily practice.
My life is much more satisfying as a result of this practice and that is why I still make it a priority
Following are 6 practical methods that I continue to use to be satisfied in my life.
There is no one size fits all path to satisfaction, but it is my hope that at least one of these methods will bring you closer to it.
1) Focus on Things in your Life that are Working out
It is normal to want to change your life to find satisfaction, but ultimately satisfaction is not about finding the perfect set of circumstances. It is about achieving an optimal state of mind.
Notice what you are thinking about during the day. Are you perpetually complaining about things that are not satisfying?
If the one thing that is satisfying in your day is watching a bird in the yard, or the half hour you have in the morning to yourself, try to bring that feeling with you throughout the day.
If you are not used to deliberately finding things that are satisfying, this will feel very awkward and strange at first.
Even if you can just maintain a feeling of satisfaction, for a minute, that is enough.
Start a gratitude journal and list of all the things you appreciate in your current life. It can be as simple as having a great wardrobe, or being able to visit a park you like.
It does not matter how simple or basic these things seem.
The important things is that you actually feel satisfaction, which is different than just giving lip service.
Speaking and acting positive without actually feeling has recently been coined “toxic positivity.”
Keep this list with you and read it often.
2) Make Feeling Satisfied a Priority
We are conditioned to think that feeling satisfaction is selfish. The truth is, the more we feel satisfied the more we are able to give to others.
It is very hard to be of service if you are perpetually drained. If you are one of those people hard-wired to give to others, remind yourself that by being satisfying, you will be able to give more.
For years I sacrificed my own needs to try to please other people. I gave and gave until I had nothing left.
I didn’t feel like I deserved to feel satisfied because I hadn’t achieved the things that I wanted.
It almost felt like I would be lying to myself by allowing myself to feel good despite my less than ideal life.
If you are an over-giver, remind yourself that the only way you can really give to world is if you find your own satisfaction first.
There is no better way to help others than making your own satisfaction a priority.
It is not selfish to be happy and enjoy your life. Being miserable is never going to help others to find satisfaction.
3) Cultivate an Optimal State of Mind
Satisfaction starts in the mind. If you are unhappy with your current life circumstance try putting images in your mind that represent a more satisfying life.
Infuse these images with feelings, and imagine that you are living that life now. This process is known as creative visualization.
The only thing we can really change right away is our state of mind.
When I first started doing the work of being satisfied, my life was far from perfect.
I was barely scraping by financially, mainly because I was supporting two people. My credit cards were completely maxed out, and the debt continued to pile on even though I was working 10-12 hour days.
Obviously I didn’t have any money to go out to dinner or travel. I couldn’t even visit my family for holidays and ended up missing out on weddings and and special events.
I had to take out a horrible credit card just to attend my Aunt’s funeral. It seemed lik every Time I got a little bit ahead, something would come up that put me under again.
On top of that I was in a very bad relationship.
I had absolutely no idea how I was going to change my circumstances.
I finally gave up trying to change any of the circumstances in my life and started using creative visualization to practice feeling satisfied anyway.
It was not easy at first. Because I knew that I was unable to leave my relationship for various reasons I realized that I had to practice being satisfied regardless of my circumstances.
Satisfaction became my full time Job…
I started asking myself what it would feel like if I were living the life I wanted to be living.
This took an enormous amount of energy, but I was determined to experience something different in my life.
I did my best to ignore my horrible financial situation and practice feeling as if I could pay my bills easily, and even have enough money extra to do fun things like travel and go out to dinner.
My life didn’t change all at once, but the life I am living now is unrecognizable from that one.
4) Cultivate Close Relationships
There is a direct link to satisfaction and close relationships.
We are literally living in an epidemic of loneliness. Even though there are more people living on the planet than ever, many many people report not having any really close friends, or satisfying relationships.
It is never too late to make friends, even if you are an adult or an introvert.
5) Have active Goals in your Life
Goals are not just for entrepreneurs and sales people.
You don’t have to be aspiring to write the next Great American Novel, or becoming the richest person on the planet.
Goals can include planting a garden, or going on vacation once every 6 months.
Goals create life energy and a sense of moving forward. Without them it is easy to get stuck living in the past.
Get a journal and write a list of goals that you want to achieve. Think of the joy and satisfaction they’ll give you. You don’t have to know exactly how to achieve them.
6) Set aside time to do something that you really want to do
Find something that really nurtures your soul. (Not just watching t.v. or drinking) Something that you can lose yourself in.
For some, it is fishing or camping. I personally love music and writing and make sure that I do it every day, even if it is just for 5 minutes.
Ask yourself what it is you really want and set aside some time each day to do it, no matter how ridiculous or impractical it seems.
When you actually do things you are passionate about, you are telling yourself that life is more than just doing what you need to do to live.
7) Change your Inner Dialogue
Inner dialogue is nothing more than the things we are constantly telling ourselves throughout the day.
Ask yourself if you feel like you deserve to be living the life you want to live.
It is impossible to feel satisfied while thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Of course, it takes time and commitment to do this, as it’s much easier to think the same thoughts we have been thinking.
Practical ways to change inner dialogue
Ask yourself what a satisfied person would think and feel.
What would you be focusing on? What would you be doing each day? Do this frequently throughout the day. I find this much easier than fighting the negative conditioning.
Be aware that it is not always possible to feel this way in the midst of extremely stressful situations. It is better to wait until you are not caught up in the thralls of negativity.
Meditate
Create a time during the day, no matter how short it is at first, to focus on quieting your mind.
When I am extremely stressed I use meditation to simply calm my mind and feel a little better.
When I am in a neutral state of mind, I use guided meditations to get into a higher state.
Be aware that meditation often takes a lot of practice. It often doesn’t happen overnight. Even though I’ve practiced meditation regularly for years, there are still time when it is hard to impossible to do.
It makes me sad when people tell me they can’t meditate and admit that they’ve only tried it a couple times. It is like any other skill that times a certain amount of practice to develop.
Overtime, meditation allows to naturally feel more satsifed with life because it quiet the “inner critic” that makes life feel unsatisfying.
Being satisfied is not always easy, but I believe it is available to everyone with enough effort and intention.
There are millionaires with doting partners and perfect children who are not satisfied. There are people with practically nothing who always seem to be happy.
Using your thoughts to feel satisfied is paramount to having a satisfying life.
If you want to be satisfied you have to train yourself to look for things and focus on things that feel satisfying.
It often takes time and effort, and It is much easier to reach for a glass of wine or a piece of cake.
I have people ask me all the time why I am always positive or seemingly in a good mood no matter what. They often assume that I have always had a great life or that my life is perfect.
Both are far from the truth. I still put an enormous effort into feeling as satisfied as I can because I know the benefits.
Hopefully you will find some of these methods helpful. Feel free to e-mail me at aglassofcheri@gmail.com with any questions.
Need some guidance in your journey….
I am a lifecoach specializing in happiness and life purpose.
Because I believe everyone needs and goals are different I offer as little or as many sessions as needed.