What is an Energy Vampire?
An energy vampire is someone who gains energy by sucking it from those that surround them.
There are various ways this can happen. Some energy vampires put others down, while some are just constantly complaining to put attention on themselves.
People are not born energy vampires.
It is usually a behavior that developed in childhood.
For instance, someone may have been neglected as a child and resorted to acting out to get attention. If that person doesn’t learn to get energy in another way, they will continue this behavior into adulthood.
Energy vampirism occurs when someone is not able to feel happy and fulfilled on their own. Vampires need constant doses of energy from others to sustain themselves.
Common Traits of Energy Vampires
1) Always Talking and Never Listening
Energy vampires often do not enjoy equal conversations. They like to dominate the conversation with their own ideas and stories.
If they do allow someone to talk, it is only for a moment before turning the conversation back to themselves.
It is important to note that some energy vampires may compliment or praise you amidst their rants, but they are still doing the talking and not asking for much input.
2) Constant Complaining
Energy vampires love complaining. It is a way of getting sympathy from others, which is a form of energy.
They love to mention their traumatic childhoods any time they can. They also love pointing out their various medical maladies.
Energy vampires do not like to talk about solutions and moving forward. They often identify with their victimhood and love the attention it gets them.
If you offer any solutions, a vampire will explain why it will not work, then continue to list off their problems.
Everyone needs to blow off steam once in a while and there is nothing wrong with venting. But someone who gets energy in this way will not want to engage in any other type of communication.
3) The Drama Queen/King
Energy Vampires love drama and if there isn’t any, they love to create it.
People who gain energy in this way are constantly gossiping or making up stories about people of which they have no proof of.
These types of vampires will try to cajole you into spilling your own guts or revealing the secrets of others.
They are constantly surrounded by drama and if there isn’t any, they are sure to make some up.
People who gain energy from drama are sure to insert themselves into any conflicts.
4) Constant Criticism
Energy vampires are very critical of others, and often point out other people’s faults.
They love correcting people as well, and can’t wait for the chance to tell someone they are doing something wrong.
Energy vampires are often “Grammar Police,” people that sit around waiting for someone to pronounce something wrong, so they can tell them the right way to say it.
Some energy vampires are outright mean. But most of them choose to dish out criticism in more subtle ways, such as pointing out that someone could have said something better, or that their shirt doesn’t quite match their shoes.
5) They act “Fake”
Sometimes energy vampires take the form of overly pollyanna people who are constantly showering people with empty compliments.
These vampires are hard to spot because on the surface they seem friendly, but their energy doesn’t match what they are saying.
These kinds of energy vampires are constantly on parade. They often wear dramatic or provocative clothing and are always talking.
These people would rather not engage in any real conversation because that could make them vulnerable.
For them, life is a stage and they have learned that if they act a certain way people are more likely to give them attention and resources.
These kinds of energy vampires often portray Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde traits where they are bubbly in one moment, then moody in the next.
Not everyone who behaves in an over the top way is a vampire. Some people are just genuinely happy and love life.
However, some vampires choose to act like this because they don’t want people to know who they really are.
Many cult leaders portray this kind of behavior. They know that if people feel good in the presence they will eventually get them to do whatever they want.
6) Always coming up Short when the Bills turns up
Energy vampires are often conveniently a few dollars short everytime it comes time to foot the bill.
They are always borrowing or making excuses as to why their wallets are not with them.
Money is a form of energy.
This is more of a problem when you live with a vampire of this type because they will always be short on rent.
Money vampires sometimes seek nice, overly giving people to live with. They will stay without contributing until they get kicked out.
These kinds of energy vampires do not like working and often get fired. They would rather take money from other people than work for it.
7) Energy Vampires are not Reliable
Energy Vampires are consistently late or cancel plans at the last minute. Oftentimes they simply don’t show up because something better came up.
They are always asking favors but you can’t count on them to be there when you need them.
How to deal with Vampires
1) Avoid them if you can
Do not let them in your inner circle. If energy vampires are in your circle they are more able to suck your energy. You will feel obligated to talk to them and often get sucked into their drama.
If you can’t Avoid them
Sometimes it is not possible to avoid energy vampires. They could be a coworker, or a roommate, or a family member.
In that case, make sure you don’t get sucked into their drama
- Be very careful not to tell them anything personal you wouldn’t want the world to find out.
- Never contribute to their criticism of other people, as they will most likely tell those people, forgetting that they too were in on the conversation.
- Don’t take the bait. If they insult you don’t let it get to you. Know they are only putting you down so they can feel better.
- Don’t offer any criticism of their behavior. Offer them loving energy and find genuinely good things to say about them. This will give them energy without depleting your own.
- Keep yourself in a high loving state, and you will find that they will not come around you as much, or when they do, they will be less vampiric.
It is important to note that everyone has moments of vampirism. I only label people energy vampires when they consistently exhibit vampiric behaviors.
If you find yourself constantly surrounded by energy vampires, ask yourself what you are doing with your own energy.
Are you too willing to give out of guilt or a feeling of obligation?
For a long time it was hard for me to say no to vampires. I did favors I didn’t really want to do and listened way too long to people’s complaints.
Even if you are surrounded by energy vampires, you can conserve your energy.
Don’t let their criticism get to you and don’t get sucked into their drama.
If you can’t distance myself from energy vampires just focus on maintaining a positive state and not giving your energy away.
Eventually they just won’t want to be around you as much!
Need some Guidance in your journey….
I am a life coach specializing in happiness and life purpose.
Because I believe everyone needs and goals are different I offer as little or as many sessions as needed.
For a free 15 minute consultation e-mail me at aglassofcheri@gmail.com.
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