There are many specific reasons why relationships fail, but ultimately they end when the good aspects are not enough to justify the bad aspects.
Many people stay together long after they are happy in their relationship.
Having children together, nostalgia for the past, or familiarity can sometimes keep people together long after they truly enjoy eachothers’ company.
At this point, it does not take much to tip the scales.
This is why many are surprised that a couple who has been together for years and years suddenly break up for seemingly “small” reasons.
10 Reasons Relationships Fail
1. Jealousy
A certain amount of jealousy is normal, but when unchecked it can lead to the end of a relationship.
Jealous people often “check up” on their partners excessively and accuse them of lying about their whereabouts. They don’t believe their partners can be trusted and go out of their way to keep tabs on them.
Excessive jealousy will most likely lead to a breakdown of the relationship.
2. Deal Breakers
Not being clear about your deal breakers in the beginning can lead to the end of a relationship.
For instance, if you want kids then choosing someone who claims they don’t want kids and expecting them to change their minds later on is probably not a good idea.
I see many people choosing to be in relationships with people they are trying to change.
It is better to choose someone who already has similar goals in life, especially if you want the relationship to last a while.
3. Cheating
While cheating in a committed relationship obviously puts it at peril, emotional cheating (spending intimate time with someone you are attracted to) can also lead to an end of a relationship.
There are some people that will cheat no matter what, but oftentimes it is a result of something else not working in the relationship.
4. Controlling Behaviour
Trying to control how your partner dresses or acts will most likely lead to the end of the relationship.
Everyone has a different level of tolerance of what they can take, but eventually trying to change all the time to please someone will get old and the relationship will end.
5. Verbal/Physical Abuse
Noone like to be criticized or physically assaulted. It leads to confusion and feelings of resentment. If the person being verbally or physically abused retaliates, it will result in endless arguments.
Oftentimes a person being abused will learn to be quiet to avoid further confrontation. They will learn to emotionally cut themselves off from their partner.
There are also relationships where both people are abusing each other.
This kind of relationship fails when one person can no longer tolerate it.
6. Not being Clear about what you Want
If you are not sure exactly what you want in a partner you will send out a mixed signal.
Many people are wishy-washy about their own lives and cannot be satisfied in any relationship.
If someone in the relationship is unsure about what they want in someone it is highly likely that any romantic partner will eventually leave because they don’tfeel appreciated or wanted.
7. Expecting too Much from Relationships
Expecting constant attention and validation from your partner can lead to the end of the relationship. It is unrealistic to expect someone to give constant and unwavering attention.
This leads to one or both people pulling on their partner’s energy.
People who are not capable of being happy by themselves will rarely be happy in a relationship.
These relationships fail when one person tries endlessly to please the other to no avail. Eventually that person will grow tired of the futility of trying to be who their partner wants them to be.
8. Not Listening to your Partner
Listening is crucial if you want to have a healthy relationship.
Listening is a way to show that you care about someone else’s experience.
If only one person is doing the listening, that person will most likely start to feel resentment.
If both partners are not listening, the relationship will usually end due to too many arguments.
9. The Victim/Perpetrator Paradigm
This happens when one person puts another person’s needs above their own.
When an overgiver meets a person with narcissistic tendencies, a classic abusive relationship results where one person is doing all of the giving and the other is taking.
There is almost always verbal and physical abuse involved in this type of relationship.
This type of relationship often last years because either person is willing to end it for different reasons.
The victim will stay because he/she feels an obligation to the perpetrator. The perpetrator will stay because they are getting an endless supply of energy from the victim.
If the relationship does end, it usually involves a shift of thinking, where the “victim” learns to put their own needs first.
There are deep psychological reasons for this type of relationship to persist, and for this reason the person often returns to the relationship or finds themselves in a similar one.
10. Money
Having different styles of money is a huge reason for relationships to fail. Spending money without telling your partner can lead to resentment.
When one person is a spender and the other is a saver, there is resentment on both sides.
The spender feels as if the saver is not going out and buying things enough. The saver feels resentment because the spender is not leaving any sort of emergency fund or nest egg.
A relationship like this usually fails unless a common ground is met in regards to money.
While the specific reasons for every breakup are unique, these are some of the most common reasons relationships fail.
Healthy relationships, both romantic and platonic are essential to well being and it is important to recognize patterns that can lead to their deterioration.
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